Bios can be such a conundrum for me… I don’t like to ‘sell’
myself and I do believe that the right people shall find me… And yet in this
world of web it seems to be vital for the information to be at everyone’s
fingertips. The irony of it is this information is visual and linear, lacking
in the engagement of all of the senses, which is are the keys to our personal
healing.
So though it is not to my liking… bear with me as I attempt
to bring some music to my song…. See what you can hear
Since I was a girl I felt excited to be here. I could feel
the magic in the world around me and I loved being a part of it. It never
occurred to me that I was separate from nature or God as I could FEEl them
within me, particularly when I would go walking in ancient forests and share
with them my renditions of the latest country songs…
My Mother was a life skills coach and I attended life
skills/ personal growth workshops through out my teens. Trusting in my ability
to go inside of myself and solve problems made sense to me. I found it
invigorating and inspiring to know that I didn’t need anyone else aside from
myself (and Great Spirit) to figure it out.
I left home at a very young age, (not quite 16) determined
to make a life for myself that was not as regimented as my parents home, and
certain that I had the tools to do it on my own. In those first 3 years I
learned that I had a tendency to choose the hard path in life, figuring that it
would make me stronger in the long run. Proving that I was adept and capable.
And though I found my strength, I came to see that it was not necessary to
prove anything to anyone, nor did I have to choose a path of suffering. It was
in this time period of my life that I became introduced to ancient European
pagan traditions that opened me in a greater way to embracing the feminine half
of the divine, and really actioning my connection with the earth around me
through ceremony.
I began dating my husband shortly before my 19th
birthday. I have an exceptionally
romantic nature and knew this was it. This was the man of my dreams, partner of
my life. Though he did not have the white horse of my girlhood dreams, rather
long hair, piercings and tattoos, I was in love.
Being in a relationship humbled me (still does) taught me
how to move out of my own perspective and see that there are other ways, other
rights than the ones I chose to believe in, That I could simply change my choice
of belief and see a new way….
In the winter of 1995, right after I turned 20 my Mother
Sheila Salter was raped and murdered in the parkade of her work by a stranger;
Peter Brighteyes. Her body was tossed into an abandoned farmhouse where it was
not found for 10 days. Peter was later found guilty of murder and hung himself
in jail shortly afterwards. This experience put everything I knew and believed
in to the test. Mom had always taught me that we choose everything in our
lives, and that there are no accidents. It took me about 10 years of healing to
understand that she was right.
Through those ten years I became a Mother myself, finding my
children to be some of my greatest teachers. I pursued my interests in
alternative health, starting a business making soap, herbal salves &
creams. I trained in aromatherapy, and started making my own herbal remedies
from my garden and the forests near my then urban home. I took some classes on contemporary paganism,
and got involved in the local Reclaiming community. Continuously searching for
a way to heal murder, and a connection with the divine that had been somewhat
shattered in Moms death.
Each training I did, or workshop I got involved in offered
me some elements that helped in my process, yet none of them seemed to go to
the bones… For me there was a lack of holiness and humbleness in many of the
ceremonies I participated in. As I explored metaphysical and psychological
aspects of trauma in my reading and conversations I was also continuously told
that murder was something you never get over, that I was pretty much stuck with
it for the duration of my life.
I refused to believe
that, it did not resonate with me at all… I could feel my Mothers spirit in my telling
me this was not so, that there was a way… So I trusted her. Shortly after the
birth of my Son around the 10-year mark of her death, I had an experience which
I have explained in the past by saying ‘It was like murder was in the wind’…. I
was standing outside my home and felt this great wind completely surround me,
could feel my Mother there… I was brought into the place/time of her death, and
I physically felt everything she went through, right to the place of her Spirit
recognizing this was it, this was her time to go, and she was ready for it… And
I felt the most infinite grace surround her/me. It was the most beautiful thing
I had ever felt. The message was clear, she was fine, and despite the horrific
circumstances, she had chosen her death.
This brought great healing to me, and yet I still felt like
I wasn’t complete in my healing. I often felt the spirit of Peter Brighteyes
around me, which would annoy me and bring a sense of irritation. I had never
dealt with any of my feelings towards him, as I knew that he was a product of
tragedy himself. Having grown up under the influence of Colonization and
Residential Schools. I didn’t feel justified in my anger and I had rationalized
that it was pointless to be angry with him, due to his circumstances and the
fact that he was dead.
Yet I could see now that these feelings were not ‘going
away’ and in fact he seemed to be showing up more and more. I prayed on it, and
saw what I needed to do. I would create a ceremony, moving through each of the
directions and the wisdom held therein, to talk to him, and ensure the powers
that be were aware of his crime and that he was being held accountable. I could
say to him what I needed to say… and allow intuition as well as the spontaneity
of the moment to guide the rest. For 8
months I held this ceremony. I don’t think I really believed prior to that that
when you call a spirit they come…. I got to know him so well I could smell him
around me. Then I had a vision when I was journeying… In another time and space
I was sitting on a wall of sand before a small pyramid with my Son. I had my
arm around him comforting him. He was really upset about something he had done
and scared to face the consequences. I held him, telling him it would be okay,
and that this was what he needed to do. I was filled with an overflowing sense
of compassion and love. Then my conscious mind kicked in, and I pulled myself
out of the journey realizing that the boy was Peter and I was the Mom…
Horrified that I had just felt love for a murderer. Absolutely unsure of how to
sit with the sense of compassion/ love/ forgiveness that I was experiencing.
Initially I even felt angry with myself for feeling this. Yet as time passed,
as I continued through the directions/wheel of my ceremony I started to feel a
sense of freedom and liberation that I had never known before. I could see that
though Peter chose to walk with darkness in this lifetime, it did not define
his spirit, and that myself as well as most of this world have walked those
paths too in other lives.
I knew it was time to bring a new level of teachings into my
life to help assimilate what I had learned in my ceremonies with Peter. Driven
by intuition I found myself enrolled in the Inca Medicine Wheel training
program in the fall of 2006. The teachings of the wheel deeply resonated with me, particularly the holiness that I felt was a part of creating a personal relationship with the Sacred. I knew I had found what I had been looking for in my personal spiritual
quest, that this was ‘it’. . The beauty of the wheel awakened the teachings I had known since
I was a girl. I felt compelled to learn as much as I could about it, through the many teachings that exist upon our earth.
And so my life shifted…. My family and I moved to rural
Alberta, I began my healing practice and per sued my connection with the
teachings of the Medicine Wheel. I established a deep relationship with the elements on my land, learning how to allow them to be the guiding principles in my life. I
became a Reiki Master Teacher and opened a healing center on my land. By 2008 I
began assisting in teaching the Inca Medicine Wheel in Alberta. I also trained in Alchemical Healing and various other contemporary Shamanic Healing programs, that helped me create the balance and understanding I was looking for.
I made 5 trips to Peru in 4 years, learning much from those I walked the land with... Yet finding my heart continuously guiding me to bring the teachings home... to connect them with the Sacred in our land... To walk the Wheel Here, and that it is not necessary for me to seek the answers from afar.
In time I came to be guided by Peter as well as my Mom in
the work I came here to do. In the fall of 2010 I spent time on the reserve
from which he was born, looking to understand his origins and people in a
greater way. I was invited to return two times in the spring of 2011 and share
my healing story at Residential Schools healing workshops. These experiences
have intensely effected my belief that the healing of the wounds of our native
peoples belongs to us all.
As I have developed a close relationship with my self, the
work I came here to do, the earth below me and Creator above, I have learned to
fully trust in the ability we each have to create healing from the inside out.
